No one should have to look at a clock that reads 3:30 a.m. if they don’t plan to do so, but there I was. And there it was. 3:30 mocking me with that dumb red button missing signifying that in one and a half hours I pledged to be awake, and I knew that Fred (my once nemesis alarm clock which now sports a new name to cooperate with one of our Early to Rise exercises seeking to remake him into my ally) would not forget.
He didn’t know that my two month old would express his “need to feed” an extra three times that night. He didn’t know that also on that night a thunder/snow/hail storm would rattle our town. He didn’t know that two of my children would get up multiple times in response to that storm, which incidentally resulted with electric cables being ripped off of our house due to a lightning struck tree branch that snapped off in the backyard. (Thank God we were all unharmed.) He didn’t know that my other two children would play dueling sickness as one after the other moaned, groaned, and then well you know the rest. By the time these events finished, it was…you guessed it…3:30 a.m. Fred didn’t know and he didn’t care. Fred was still set to do his job at 5 a.m.
But would I respond?
It was then I was struck with, well unbelievable sleepiness, but also a choice. I had committed myself to get up at 5:00 a.m. Was I still going to do it? I have in the past been worried about getting up at 8 when I went to sleep at 10 p.m.! I love my sleep. I need my sleep. Why am I doing this again? What am I aspiring to anyway? Why do I want to wake up this early? I didn’t know all those answers in that moment but I did figure out one thing:
I started this challenge for a reason.
I am not all I aspire to be, yet. And if I want to see change, I am going to have to do something I have never done before.
So I did.
You probably think I am crazy for waking up at 5 that morning. Well, I didn’t. I never went to bed. I started my day right then and surprisingly, was happy in my drowsy state. (And yes, I paid for it later. That nap couldn’t come fast enough!) I knew though that if I slept in that day, I would make excuses and continue to make for myself. If I did that, I will never become the me I aspire to be. I have a goal for myself. I have more to give to me, to my husband, to my family, to my friends…to you.
The sleep I love would steal that future from me. The sleep I love does not love me back. The sleep I love can wait. I found a new love…it’s the me I am going to be and I am up, literally, for this challenge.
I will be and I hope you try to stay,